Valve delays Portal 2, ruins E3 surprise

Remember about a week ago when Valve was teasing a surprise for E3? Apparently the internet made too much of a fuss about it and Valve just went on ahead to reveal that the surprise was about Portal 2. Oh, and it's also been delayed to 2011.

"Public safety concerns" were cited as the main reason from today's humorous press release but the company assures that all life on the planet won't grind to an explosive halt because of the delay. Unless someone were to mess with the very fabric of Valve Time, of course. Here's the whole statement:

June 9, 2010-- Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.
Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.
"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.
To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's delegate to the EU's Valve Time Studies Group, Doug Lombardi.And with that, sadly, goes all hopes for any new info regarding Half-Life 2: Episode 3next week. You'll just have tough it out and put up with hearing about some sassy, murderous robot for a little longer.

Sections:Microsoft Consoles, Console Games, PC Games, E3

|

moreRelated news storiesTRINE 2 in development, Atlus E3 lineup confirmsJune 10, '10Square Enix announces their E3 2010 lineupJune 09, '10War for Cybertron heats up with E3 trailerJune 04, '10E-mail to fan from Valve's Gabe Newell is epic, hilariousJune 04, '10Deus Ex: Human Revolution E3 trailer shows you can't stop the futureJune 04, '10Guild Wars 2 skipping E3, first hands-on at gamescomJune 03, '10Valve cancels Portal 2 E3 presentation, teases new surpriseJune 02, '10Pokémon Black and White going international next SpringMay 28, '10Penny Arcade looking for input on PAX booth babesMay 28, '10

Valve cancels Portal 2 E3 presentation, teases new surprise